A Legal Alien

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12 September 2005

"He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have. He is just my dog." - Gene Hill

Work has been hectic. I won't write about work here because quite frankly, I value my job as it keeps me in the country. I'm genuinely happy with that part of my life, even when I have a bad lesson with a group of kids.

This weekend was a whirlwind of going out for drinks, dinners with the girls next door, shopping and cricket. I'm so thankful for new friends, for people who include me in their lives and want to spend time with me. D has been wonderfully supportive and as we're close in age and have similar beliefs, we get along well. C is the typical loud American, opinionated and all that but still fun. If nothing else, they are supportive, new to the area and want to keep busy too. So we have fun pal-ing around.

There are days when my depression is bad. I've been discouraged about things with Frank as he's basically acted the same way he did a year ago when he broke up with me. We've barely spoken in the last several weeks and I need to get my self-respect back. I know I deserve better than what's happened to me in the last 4 months. Honestly, I haven't been without a significant other in a long time and it's time to get back to taking care of myself and not worrying about anyone else. As much as I like being in a relationship and want to be married, I'm tired of being hurt and shate on. I'm not bitter, just want to worry about myself and no one else. So, it's better if I'm by myself. I don't really have time for a relationship anyway. I'm swamped with work and when I have free time, I'm usually with the boys hanging out or the girls next door or going into the city to see friends.

I'll survive.

For Paul Barrett

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