A Legal Alien

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15 August 2005

I just got home from going out to dinner. What a bizarre evening. Scottish Chris was there with his friend Carey, I arrived with Jack, Zane showed up with Russell the Git and Dave the hetero. Jack tells us that their other friend Chris is coming to join us as well. Now, Dave was someone I'd never met and he just seemed out of his element at a table full of gay men and me. I wasn't even sure he was hetero until he started showing pictures of his baby daughter. I never know with any of their friends because everyone they've ever introduced me to is gay.

So, Other Chris shows up and informs everyone he had a miserable day. Russell the Git takes this as his cue to try and take the piss out of Other Chris even though they'd just met. This tactic did not go over well with Other Chris. The fur was flying, the insults zinged back and forth and finally, I told them both to quit. I wanted to have a nice evening out before I moved and all their bickering was getting on my nerves. Then Other Chris aims his barrels at me and I just said, "Bring it on. I teach. I'm fearless." He tried to banter/bicker with me and all I did was show concern for his bad day, placate him and remind him that this was my last curry with them for a while. Russell the Git could not shut his mouth if his life depended on it and just kept on. He thinks he's funny but he's tolerable, barely. He tried to tease me and I just look at him like he's a complete moron. He IS Gareth Keenan (Anyone who watches 'The Office' knows what that means. If you don't, find out: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/gareth/).

At the end of the evening, we're paying the bill at the bar and Russell says good-bye to everyone, shook Other Chris' hand and says it was nice to meet him. Other Chris says, "It wasn't nice meeting you. I had a miserable time." Ouch. The whole way home on the bus, Other Chris ranted about Russell. I have seriously never seen anyone completely overreact to someone just trying to lighten the mood. Now Russell is annoying. But he's not malicious. He just doesn't have much in the way of social graces. (He very astutely pointed out to me tonight that if you ride for 40 minutes on the Tube, you have smoked the equivalent of 4 cigarettes. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm telling you, he IS GARETH KEENAN.)

Too much testosterone is a bad, bad thing.

For Paul Barrett

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