mind the gap

21 October 2006



It started as a scratchy throat. Nothing big, just a tickle really. And then the sneezing started and the fatigue. Oh my gosh, the fatigue! I could fall asleep standing up if I didn't try harder to stay awake. And now today, the cough and raspy throat. I hate being sick. I loathe it. I loathe it the way I loathe DEADTOME. Well, maybe not that much but you get the idea.

I finally have TV at the new house so I feel like a normal person again. I can get up and walk away without hitting pause on a DVD. It's nice. I'm still unpacking and finding places for things and my third bedroom still isn't done. We sort of messed up the woodwork in there with a too-thick coat of polyurethane. So my dad came round today and we spent about 2 hours sanding and prepping for a fix up. Hopefully it'll be done by next weekend. I'm tired of having plastic down on the floor in there and my office in the guest room. What's the use of a third bedroom if I can't even use it!?

My first big project will be the yard. I hate the garden at this house. It's boring. It's grass and some shrubs. Not interesting at all. And the weeds are everywhere. Obviously the previous owners didn't enjoy yardwork because everything out there is low maintenance and purchased at Home Depot (tags still attached to each plant). But the bare bones are there which is more than my other house. If I had more money, I'd hire a landscape architect to help me sort it out but alas, I'm still pinched in the money dept. until I get a bit more settled in here.


I'm starting to feel like this is my house. It's taking a while though, longer than I thought it would. I loved my other house and I loved my flat in London. One day, I want to love this house the same way. I want to have good memories in it and yet, I don't want to be here long enough to make that many memories.

Coming back here wasn't necessarily a mistake but it isn't what's making me happy. I'm happy to work, to interact with kids again, to teach, to meet new friends and to be independent. But CA isn't where I want to spend my life.


But that face keeps me going.
mind the gap