A Legal Alien

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18 July 2006

Now, I am well aware of how much people hate it when I try to explain my dreams. And I won't do that now except to say I've been having the most insane dreams lately. Most of them involved going back to my EVIL school in Essex to teach. That's torture enough but I always wake up with this delightful feeling that DEADTOME isn't working there in my dreams. I keep in touch with a few people I worked with but basically, I want to pretend that phase of my life never happened.
My other funky dreams usually involve my ex and ahem, I'm not going to write about it.

It's been blistering hot. Fetid air, leave the a/c on all night hot. 109F yesterday, 106F today. Even though England is in the midst of a hideous heatwave too, I'd rather be there than here. I've looked at houses to buy here and nothing strikes me as OOOOOH I have to HAVE THAT HOUSE. Because all I keep thinking about is, Ooooh, I could use the money for my PhD! My family would be gutted to know that, as I think my mother loves having me in town again. But I'm stifled, and not just because of the OHMYGODit'sHOT weather. The freedom I had of living abroad... not being asked to housesit for anyone, or water someone's plants while it's 106F OUTISDE or make dinner or run to the fruit stand (all of which I've been asked to do or done today). I'm sick of doing crap for other people. SICK. OF. IT.

So my new dream will be... figuring out a way to afford to go back to school for my PhD and what I'd like to write my dissertation on. Oh, and socking away as much money as I can. Meh.

For Paul Barrett

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