A Legal Alien

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05 January 2006

I put my car up for sale and within 4 hours, a guy called me to come look at it. He rang me about..oh, 4,000 times with questions about things that worked, etc. So he comes today to look at it and seriously went over it with a fine toothed comb. Now, my car is a 1992 Lexus.. it's nice but it's a 1992. You can't expect a 13 year old car to be in pristine condition. He said I had the wrong size tires on the car, it needed body work but the engine sounded fine. Then when he goes to look at the service record, he said there was nothing there after 45,000 miles. I thought it was complete but obviously, it's not or at least I don't know where the rest of the records are. Oh but it gets better. He informs me thinks the odometer has been tampered with and rolled back to 89,000 miles. I've owned the car for 5 months and bought it from a friend. I doubt her husband rolled back anything but I have absolutely no proof that the odometer hasn't been tampered with.

After all his phone calls and looking at the car for 30 minutes, touching every nick and scratch, his endless questiong, he DIDN'T BUY IT. He said he thought it would need £700-800 worth of work. Uh.. dude? The car is 13 YEARS OLD. I'm asking £1700 for it just to recoup my cost from buying it. I haven't seen any other car listed for less than £3400 with the same specs mine has. But whatever. If it doesn't sell, I can take it to a dealer. I just felt like he wasted my time and pestered me for 3 days before telling me my car was the equivalent of an enema.

I'm irritable. I've been blown off by friends for the last few days and I made no plans for today because I thought I was going out tonight. Oh, but NO, not now. Now, I've wasted a day sitting on my ass, waiting for some blowhard to show up and NOT BUY MY CAR and for my friend to bail on meeting up for drinks.

Yeah, it's only 2pm but damnit, I feel like the day is gone and all I did was go get some petrol and vaccum. Did I mention NO. ONE. CLEANS. BUT. ME?? Beavis and Butthead did NO cleaning while I was gone. And oh my GOD, we go through toilet paper faster than 3 people should be legally allowed. It's not me and it's not Spiderman. It's DEADTOME. He uses like half a roll per dump and lately, he's crapping like every time he heads to the toilet. I'm not exaggerating this at all. We use a roll a day. AN ENTIRE ROLL people! This is wrong, especially when you consider that The Wonder Twins are at work all day and Spiderman goes out almost every night. If we look at this scientifically (as all conversations regarding the quantity of TP used should be), I should be the one using the most TP because I'm the one who has to sit to pee. But I was here for 2 days by myself and I didn't use HALF of the roll. As soon as DEADTOME came back, the rolls were gone one after another. He's been back since Sunday night and we've gone thru 5 rolls of TP. 5 rolls of the 'extra quantity' TP. Here's the $64,000. WHAT THE HELL does a 24 year old guy DO with all that toilet paper? Obviously he's got to shove it up his ass to prevent anal leakage or something. Oh and instead of changing the roll when it's used up, he leaves like 3 sheets on the cardboard tube and can't be arsed to CHANGE THE ROLL. You use more of it than anyone else, CHANGE THE ROLL.

I went to the doctor yesterday and started a new medication for my migraines. I have to take something every day now because the 2-3 attacks per month are considered too severe to take abortive drugs. So, I'm on an anti-convulsant beta blocker now so my brain's blood vessels will chill out already. Then, I went to the St. Pauls' gift shop to find some on-sale Christmas ornaments but they only had one kind left. But I found some lovely red linen napkins with a wee bit of embroidery on them. I thought about giving them to my mom but I'm always giving away what I buy here. I want to have something for myself so I'm keeping them.

Enough ranting for today... my housemate sucks.

For Paul Barrett

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