mind the gap

26 January 2007

Apologies for the lack of updates. I haven't felt like I had much to say of late. Sometimes it's better to just be quiet and dwell inside my head. I've been doing a lot of reading about relationships and dating, trying to get that part of my life back to where I want it to be. I have a blind date tomorrow night with a guy I've talked to a few times. I hope he likes me. I hope I like him. I don't know what we'll do yet but we've talked about dinner and a movie. I don't really want to say a whole lot about him yet because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm excited but guarded. My friend Monica has been very supportive and helpful through this rather quick process of meeting this guy and sorting out the date. She reminds me of Laura in that way... I'm lucky to have such great friends. How can I not be with advice like this?
"You’ll be fine. It’s okay to be excited because it’s new, and from what you
know about him, he seems cool. Just don’t worry about the outcome. If it’s a
love connection then that’s awesome, but if you don’t hit it off you’ll meet
someone else. You are way too cool to worry about if a guy likes you or not. If
he doesn’t then he’s obviously a schmuck (did I spell that right?). If he does
then he’s worth pursuing to find out if he meets your standards."

See? Too soon to let this guy have my heart. I'm glad I met him but I don't know what will happen. I want it to be an organic process. Not rushed, not weird, not smothering. Just normal. And if turns out to be just a friend, that'll be ok. Guy friends have been in short supply in my life lately.

Let's see.. what else? I had 3 fillings done yesterday. 2 more to go on Monday. I have a pre-observation meeting with my principal on Tuesday. I'm nervous but not really because I got called for an interview at Napa Unified for next Friday. If my current school isn't the right place, there are lots of other options for me. I've not given up on the idea of coming back to London at all. In fact, I'd like to meet with my uni course leader when I'm there. Financially, I can't swing it right now and selling my house for a healthy profit will be impossible in this funky market. All in good time though. I can be patient for it.

I've been changing my mind
Through with looking behind
It's a crash course in life
The best you can do is get by
There's no getting out alive
I'll hold a light for you to see
All things in time, all you'll ever need
mind the gap