A Legal Alien

The Christmas tree is up. The decorations are hung. The dog is sleeping and farting silently but deadly on the couch.

I'd forgotten about so many of the things I had tucked away, things I brought back from England, things I bought before I left.

It's Christmas time.

It's Christmastime; there's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

This year is so different than last year at this time. I'm not plotting my way out. I'm not afraid to go to work because of what someone will say to me. I'm not as insecure as I was then. I'm far from perfect and often, I'm my own worst enemy but being surrounded by my family on Thanksgiving was refreshing, renewing. We ate together, talked about our missed loved ones, those who are far away and those who have passed away. We laughed, we passed pictures of the wedding around and enjoyed spending the day together. There is much to be thankful for. I have a new house, new friends, new job, new opportunities to make a life for myself. My life, the one I choose to live, the one not mired in depression or fear or despair.

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow
And mistletoe
And presents 'neath the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.