A Legal Alien

map

25 November 2005

IN PRISON.. You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you get a break only for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK..you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to getout.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

I wrote my letter of resignation today. I didn't turn it in but I've pretty much decided I'm packing it in. I just can't do it anymore. I love living in England, I really, really do. BUT teaching here SUCKS. I've always been very close to my family and I miss being close to them. I talked to my mom, dad, grandparents and sister yesterday. They all know me so well and they each told me how sad I sounded. I am sad. I've moved away from the city I love to live in a place I hate with people who drive me nuts. I work in a place where I'm blamed for everything that goes wrong in my classroom. I have little to no support for discipline and every faculty meeting we have is a negative, demeaning experience where I end up thinking WHY AM I HERE??

The letter I wrote said:
"Dear Mrs. XXXXX

I am sorry to inform you that due to a family crisis, I must return to the US as soon as possible. Unforunately, this means I must tender my resignation effective 20 December 2005. I appreciate the opportunity to teach at XXX XXX High School."

The family crisis? ME. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't want to move back to CA. But, I don't know what else to do to get better. Am I giving up the whole dream because my job is pants? I don't know. E thinks I should wait to quit until half term in February. I think I will wait until then. It gives me a few months to get sorted here, sell some stuff and go home. I don't want to go home though. I just don't want to work there and live in this stupid house anymore. I don't prefer life in the US to life in England but I desperately miss being closer to my family and friends I've had for a long time. My support system here is made up of a few friends and colleagues who just don't give a shit. I doubt only a few would notice I wasn't around and I'm sure I won't be missed when I go. I was happier when I was in the city. At least I had places to visit, mental stimulation, free time. My migraines were less frequent and I felt better about myself. I don't like who I am right now...insecure, anxious, nervous, irritable, exhausted.

My grandpa told me last night he got choked up that I wasn't there for the holiday and our family gatherings. He said, "I know you like your life there but nothing, nothing is more important than your family."

For Paul Barrett

change here for:

Free Website Counter